Cum sa-ti calmezi nervii
Daca treburile nu merg asa de bine, iata reteta sa va descarcati nervii:
Pentru cei care in mod ocazional, traiesc o zi mizerabila si ar avea nevoie sa-si descarce nervii pe cineva ... pe cineva necunoscut ...

Eram asezat la birou cand mi-am amintit ca uitasem sa raspund cuiva care-mi telefonase. Am gasit nr respectiv si am sunat. Un barbat raspunde:
- Alo? Zic politicos: Pot sa vorbesc cu d-na Popescu, va rog ?
Tipul imi inchide telefonul in nas injurand. Nu puteam sa cred ca cineva putea fi atat de nesimtit. Verific numarul. Inversasem ultimele doua cifre... Dupa ce am vorbit cu dna Popescu, decid sa mai fac un apel spre numarul gresit. Cand tipul raspunde, ii urlu:
- Esti doar un gaozar idiot! si inchid. Am notat numarul cu mentiunea "+gaozar" si l-am lasat aproape de telefonul de pe birou. Pe urma, la fiecare doua-trei saptamani, cand aveam intr-adevar cate o zi infernala, il sunam pe tip si-i urlam: Nu esti decat un gaozar prost de mana a doua! Asta ma facea sa ma simt mai bine. Cand a aparut posibilitatea de a afisa numerele care te apeleaza, m-am gandit ca s-ar putea sa fie sfarsitul apelurilor terapeutice catre gaozar. Asa ca am sunat si:
- Buna ziua, numele meu este Bogdan Horescu, de la Romtelecom. Va sun pentru a va intreba daca cunoasteti noul nostru serviciu de afisaj? Tipul a urlat : Nu! Si a inchis telefonul injurand. L-am sunat din nou, rapid, sa-i spun:
- Asta din cauza ca nu esti decat un gaozar prost!
Cateva saptamani mai tarziu, ma duc la cumparaturi. Dupa mai multe minute de cautare gasesc in sfarsit un loc de parcare liber. Cum ma pregatesc sa parchez acolo, un tip, intr-un BMW negru, imi taie calea si-mi ia locul. Il claxonez si-i spun ca am asteptat destul ca sa prind locul respectiv. Imi raspunde printr-un deget; si se indreapta spre magazine. Eram furios si ma pregateam sa caut un alt loc de parcare cand am remarcat anuntul "De vanzare" pe geamul din spate al BMW-ului. Am notat numarul ...Cateva zile mai tarziu, imediat dupa ce am sunat la primul gaozar (i-am pus numarul pe speed-dial si formez tot timpul inainte *67, pentru ca numarul meu sa nu se afiseze), m-am gandit ca ar fi o idee sa sun si la gaozar posesor de BMW. Am format numarul si cineva a raspuns:
- Alo? Zic : Sunteti domnul care are un BMW negru de vanzare ?
- Exact !
Atunci intreb:
Puteti sa-mi dati adresa unde as putea sa vad masina?
- Da. Stau pe Stefan cel mare 180, o casa de caramida rosie. Masina este tot timpul parcata in fata.
Indraznesc:
- Numele d-voastra?
- Numele meu este Marcel Pavelescu.
Si urmez:
- Cand este cel mai indicat sa va caut, dle Pavelescu?
- Sunt acasa in fiecare dupa-amiaza, dupa ora 17.
Adaug:
- Asculta Marcel, pot sa-ti zic ceva?
- Da?
Lovitura de gratie:
- Nu esti decat un gaozar idiot! Inchid telefonul si il bag si p-asta pe speed-dial.
De acum, cand am cate o zi mizerabila, am doi gaozari de sunat. Dar dupa ce i-am sunat cu randul timp de cateva luni, nu ma mai simteam asa de usurat ca la inceput. La sfarsitul unei zile cu adevarat nimicitoare, mi-a venit o idee ... Tocmai trecuse de ora 17 si-l sun pe gaozar no 1.
- Alo? Nu esti decat o gaura de cur! Dar de data asta nu inchid. - Esti inca acolo ? ma intreaba.
- Da!
Atunci imi striga:
- Nu mai suna, ca altfel ...
I-o tai repede:
- Ba p-a ma-tii, gaozar imputit!
Urla:
- Cine esti?
Raspund:
- Ce, vrei sa ne masuram? Esti tare-n barba? Numele meu este Marcel Pavelescu.
- Zau? Si unde stai?
Bravez:
- Draga gaozar, stau pe Stefan cel Mare 180. Am o casa superba de caramida rosie si un BMW care te-ar face sa crapi de invidie.
- Vin imediat, Marcel, si-ai sa vezi cum am sa te fac sa-ti inghiti dintii.
Surad:
- Nu mi-e frica de tine, gaozar idiot, vino ! Imediat am sunat la gaozar no 2:
- Alo? Salut, gaozare! si astept.
Tipul incepe sa urle:
- Daca pun vreodata mana pe tine ...
- Ce-o sa-mi faci?
- Iti sparg botu'!
- Da? Bine. E ziua ta norocoasa, gaozare! Vin!
Am inchis si am sunat imediat la politie spunand ca locuiesc la nr. 180 pe Stefan cel Mare si ca nu mai pot rezista, il voi omori pe nenorocitul de amant homosexual. Apoi am sunat la PROTV informandu-i ca o bataie intre sefii bandelor de motociclisti se va derula pe Stefan cel Mare la nr. 180. Apoi am sarit in masina si m-am infiintat prin apropierea locului respectiv. Si am vazut doi imbecili batandu-se pe viata si pe moarte, in fata a sase masini de patrula si al unui elicopter de Politie, precum si sub nasul echipei de la Stirile de seara ale ProTV.


ACUM ma simt mult mai bine ...
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  Laser printers

Laser printers provide the highest-quality text and images available today. They are ideal for small businesses and home offices, and there are even some reliable low-cost models that are perfect for everyday printing in your home or home office. This guide will help you decide which laser printer is right for you.

Which laser printer you choose will depend not only on how much you're willing to spend, but also on your particular requirements for print quality, speed, and special features. Here are some logical ways to narrow your choices.

Advantages of HP LaserJet printers If you are looking for a personal-desktop or home-office workhorse, consider purchasing an HP LaserJet printer. These machines are designed for the long haul. They can turn out a high volume of pages per month at fantastic speeds, and they are capable of producing extremely high-quality text and graphics (including color). Plus, they are easy to set up and use.

Resolution and color.

The standard resolution in most laser printers today is 1,200 dots per inch (DPI). This is well-suited for everyday printing, including small desktop publishing jobs. (A high-end production printer might have a resolution of 2,400 DPI.) And don't think laser means only black and white: HP offers full-color laser printers that produce crisp text, bold graphics, and vivid pictures.

Speed

Lasers still hold the high ground in terms of speed: You can get full-color results as fast as 17 pages per minute (PPM), and black-and-white output as fast as 25 PPM (or 45 PPM on high-performance machines!). But when it comes to actual printing, laser printers may take a little while to warm up. When a laser printer receives data from a computer, it takes 5 to 30 seconds to prepare the printer. This is in addition to the time it takes to actually print the document. When the printer is turned on, it needs time to warm up the fuser to operating temperature. If the printer has a standby mode or is turned off between printing jobs, the warm-up time becomes even more important. To reduce waiting time, look for a laser printer that has "instant-on" fusers, which are designed to reduce warm-up time. An instant-on fuser can deliver the first page in 15 seconds!

Paper handling, size, and capacity.

Paper handling is important when shopping for a laser printer. Most laser printers use letter-size, cut-sheet paper. Additional paper trays or feeders can be added to increase the capacity or variety of media. High-end production printers use continuous-feed paper.

Laser printers can print on a variety of papers sizes, types, and weights, such as transparencies, labels, and card stock. They can also handle non-traditional media like envelopes. But be aware that many specialty papers, such as iron-on transfers, are not suitable for laser printers, because the heat used in the transfer process can damage the paper and gum up your printer.

A laser printer with duplex printing can print on one side of the paper, then turn the paper over and print on the other side. Most laser printers, however, use the simpler manual duplex printing.

Laser printers work by shooting a laser at a rotating drum. Where the laser hits the drum, it magnetizes it, and the drum passes over some microscopic ink-dust; which gets picked up in the magnetized areas. As the drum keeps rotating a piece of paper is passed by, and underneath is an even stronger magnetic attraction, which causes the dust to jump from the drum to the paper. The paper passes by a hot "fuser" which basically melts or bonds the ink-dust into the paper.

Now laser and ink-jet printers each have different advantages and disadvantages, that can help you decide which you want to buy.

The advantage to laser printers is that they can be very fast (do many pages quickly), and they use a dry toner (ink-dust). Once the ink is fused to the paper, it doesn't fade or rub off. Toner is usually cheaper for how many copies you get out of it; but more expensive overall, just you replace it much less often.

The disadvantage is that most of them are black and white, and they tend to be bigger and more expensive. There are some color laser printers, but they tend to be even more expensive, and so most individuals don't buy them yet; being more for businesses.

Inkjet Specialty Paper

First of all, Inkjet Specialty Papers are the smooth surfaced papers whose a specially formulated coating makes an ideal platform to absorb and to fix the inks that are jetted from the inkjet printer for high quality, full color printing.

Throughout the course of ink-jet development, ink chemists and media engineers realized that when a liquid ink droplet contacts the surface of paper, it tends to spread along paper fiber lines as well as penetrate into paper sizing and voids. The spreading of ink droplets is often too excessive and too irregular to maintain the resolution required. The penetration of ink into the paper is often too slow to absorb multiple ink drops on the same spot within very short time intervals. The poor color image quality due to ink spreading and intercolor bleeding is recognized as the critical issue in the development of ink-jet technology.

To obtain a high-quality color ink-jet image, the surface of the media requires a special coating. And this's why many vendors offer customers High Quality Inkjet Papers and have a know-how in Inkjet technology by leading the consumable market with professional chemistry. By the way, the special ink-jet-coated media must balance between many design parameters such as drop volume, evaporation rate, penetration rate, coating thickness, etc. Today, because of the popularity of color ink-jet printers, the markets demand for better media such as ink-jet glossy and photo media is more significant.

How do laser printers work?

Laser Printers employ a laser beam to create an image on a drum. The light of the laser changes the electrical charge in the drum wherever it gets hit. Then, the drum is rolled onto a reservoir of toner, which is picked up by the altered portions of the drum. Consequently, the toner is being transferred to the paper by an amalgamation of heat and pressure, in the same way a photocopier operates.

Since an entire page is carried over to a drum prior to the toner application, laser printers called page printers. There are also two additional types of page printers that come into the category of laser printers, even though they do not use lasers .One uses bundles of LED's to expose the drum, then the other employs LCD's. However, both of them function like a real laser printer once the drum is charged.

One of the distinguishing features of laser printers is their resolution. The ready resolutions extent from 300 dpi (dots per inch) at the bottom end to 1,200 dpi at the top end. If you compare, offset printing normally prints at 1,200 or 2,400 dpi. Some laser printers achieve higher resolutions with distinguish techniques generally known as resolution enhancement.

A standard monochrome laser printer employs a single toner, whereas colour laser printers use four toners to print in full colour. Colour laser printers are generally about five to ten times more expensive than their monochrome siblings.

Laser printers create high-quality prints and are capable of printing an almost unlimited variety of fonts. Most laser printers have a basic set of fonts, they are called internal or resident fonts, however additional fonts can be added in more ways.

Laser printers are very able when it comes to printing graphics. However, one needs good amount of memory in the printer to print high-resolution graphics. Since, laser printers are non-impact printers, they proved to be much quieter than dot-matrix. They are faster, although sometimes not as fast as some dot-matrix printers.