Dupa 25 de ani de casatorie

Ziua 1: Azi am sarbatorit 25 de ani de casatorie.si nu a fost prea mult de sarbatorit. Cand a venit momentul sa retraim noaptea nuntii, el s-a inchis in baie si a plans.

Ziua 2: Azi el mi-a zis ca are sa-mi spuna un secret. Mi-a zis ca e impotent si doreste ca eu sa fiu prima care afla acest lucru. De fapt nu mi-a zis nimic din ce nu stiam !! De fapt el crede ca nu am remarcat inca acest lucru.

Ziua 3: Casatoria noastra e pusa in dificultate. O femeie are dorinte. Ieri am vazut un film erotic si am izbucnit in plans.

Ziua 4: S-a intamplat o minune! Pe piata exista un nou medicament care ii va rezolva "problema".se numeste Viagra. I-am zis ca daca va lua Viagra totul va fi ca in noaptea nuntii. Cred ca asta va avea un efect pozitiv. I-am inlocuit calmantele cu aceasta Viagra in speranta ca ii va creste si altceva decat pofta de mancare!

Ziua 5: Ce fericire !!!

Ziua 6: Ce frumoasa e viata!!! Dar e totusi dificil sa scrii cand faci asta.

Ziua 7: Cres ca Viagra asta i se ridica la cap. Ieri am fost la McDonalds si vanzatorul m-a intrebat daca vreau un Big Mac. El a crezut ca e vorba de el. E totusi dragut. Nu cred ca am fost mai fericita vreodata.

Ziua 8: Cred ca a luat prea multe pastile in week-end. Ieri, in loc sa tunda gazonul, a scos morcovii din gradina.folosindu-si noul lui prieten. Pe mine ma doare un pic locul ala.

Ziua 9: Nu am vreme sa mai scriu. S-ar putea sa ma prinda.

Ziua 10: Bine, trebuie sa recunosc: ma ascund de el! Vreau sa spun ca nici o femeie nu ar putea mai mult de atat. Cred ca lucrurile se inrautatesc. El isi ia acum pastilele cu coniac. Ce sa ma mai fac? Ma simt ca intepata de cuie pe tot corpul.

Ziua 11: Ma simt de parca as fi ametita. E ca si cum ai trai cu o masina de gaurit. Azi dimineata m-am trezit lipita de pat. Ma dor pana si subtiorile. El e un porc.

Ziua 12: Imi doresc ca el sa fi fost homosexual. Am incetat sa ma mai machiez, sa ma mai spal pe dinti.el e tot timpul in urma mea. Pana si cascatul a devenit periculos..

Ziua 13: De cate ori inchid ochii urmeaza un atac prin surprindere. E ca si cum ai dormi cu un crucisator in pat. Am probleme la mers si daca el mai incearca o data.o sa-l ucid cu mainile mele.

Ziua 14: As face orice sa-l pot opri. Nimic nu mai functioneaza. Am inceput sa ma imbrac ca o calugarita numai spre a-l opri dar asta il atîta si mai tare. Ajutoooorr !..

Ziua 15: Cred ca totusi o sa-l omor. Ma inteapa orice lucru pe care ma asez. Pisica si cainele nu se mai apropie de el. Nici prietenii nu ne mai viziteaza. Noaptea trecuta i-am zis sa se fu*a singur.si a facut-o.

Ziua 16: Nemernicul a inceput sa se planga de dureri de cap. Imi doresc sa-I explodeze scula. Cred ca o sa-i propun sa treaca din nou la calmantele lui.

Ziua 17: A incetat sa mai ia Viagra dar nu-si face efectul. Doamne! Iar vine inspre mine!.

Ziua 18: A trecut din nou pe calmante. Puturosul iar sta infipt in fotoliu la televizor cu telecomanda in mana asteptand ca eu sa fac totul in casa. Ce fericire absoluta!!!

Laser printers

Laser printers provide the highest-quality text and images available today. They are ideal for small businesses and home offices, and there are even some reliable low-cost models that are perfect for everyday printing in your home or home office. This guide will help you decide which laser printer is right for you.

Which laser printer you choose will depend not only on how much you're willing to spend, but also on your particular requirements for print quality, speed, and special features. Here are some logical ways to narrow your choices.

Advantages of HP LaserJet printers If you are looking for a personal-desktop or home-office workhorse, consider purchasing an HP LaserJet printer. These machines are designed for the long haul. They can turn out a high volume of pages per month at fantastic speeds, and they are capable of producing extremely high-quality text and graphics (including color). Plus, they are easy to set up and use.

Resolution and color.

The standard resolution in most laser printers today is 1,200 dots per inch (DPI). This is well-suited for everyday printing, including small desktop publishing jobs. (A high-end production printer might have a resolution of 2,400 DPI.) And don't think laser means only black and white: HP offers full-color laser printers that produce crisp text, bold graphics, and vivid pictures.

Speed

Lasers still hold the high ground in terms of speed: You can get full-color results as fast as 17 pages per minute (PPM), and black-and-white output as fast as 25 PPM (or 45 PPM on high-performance machines!). But when it comes to actual printing, laser printers may take a little while to warm up. When a laser printer receives data from a computer, it takes 5 to 30 seconds to prepare the printer. This is in addition to the time it takes to actually print the document. When the printer is turned on, it needs time to warm up the fuser to operating temperature. If the printer has a standby mode or is turned off between printing jobs, the warm-up time becomes even more important. To reduce waiting time, look for a laser printer that has "instant-on" fusers, which are designed to reduce warm-up time. An instant-on fuser can deliver the first page in 15 seconds!

Paper handling, size, and capacity.

Paper handling is important when shopping for a laser printer. Most laser printers use letter-size, cut-sheet paper. Additional paper trays or feeders can be added to increase the capacity or variety of media. High-end production printers use continuous-feed paper.

Laser printers can print on a variety of papers sizes, types, and weights, such as transparencies, labels, and card stock. They can also handle non-traditional media like envelopes. But be aware that many specialty papers, such as iron-on transfers, are not suitable for laser printers, because the heat used in the transfer process can damage the paper and gum up your printer.

A laser printer with duplex printing can print on one side of the paper, then turn the paper over and print on the other side. Most laser printers, however, use the simpler manual duplex printing.

Laser printers work by shooting a laser at a rotating drum. Where the laser hits the drum, it magnetizes it, and the drum passes over some microscopic ink-dust; which gets picked up in the magnetized areas. As the drum keeps rotating a piece of paper is passed by, and underneath is an even stronger magnetic attraction, which causes the dust to jump from the drum to the paper. The paper passes by a hot "fuser" which basically melts or bonds the ink-dust into the paper.

Now laser and ink-jet printers each have different advantages and disadvantages, that can help you decide which you want to buy.

The advantage to laser printers is that they can be very fast (do many pages quickly), and they use a dry toner (ink-dust). Once the ink is fused to the paper, it doesn't fade or rub off. Toner is usually cheaper for how many copies you get out of it; but more expensive overall, just you replace it much less often.

The disadvantage is that most of them are black and white, and they tend to be bigger and more expensive. There are some color laser printers, but they tend to be even more expensive, and so most individuals don't buy them yet; being more for businesses.

Inkjet Specialty Paper

First of all, Inkjet Specialty Papers are the smooth surfaced papers whose a specially formulated coating makes an ideal platform to absorb and to fix the inks that are jetted from the inkjet printer for high quality, full color printing.

Throughout the course of ink-jet development, ink chemists and media engineers realized that when a liquid ink droplet contacts the surface of paper, it tends to spread along paper fiber lines as well as penetrate into paper sizing and voids. The spreading of ink droplets is often too excessive and too irregular to maintain the resolution required. The penetration of ink into the paper is often too slow to absorb multiple ink drops on the same spot within very short time intervals. The poor color image quality due to ink spreading and intercolor bleeding is recognized as the critical issue in the development of ink-jet technology.

To obtain a high-quality color ink-jet image, the surface of the media requires a special coating. And this's why many vendors offer customers High Quality Inkjet Papers and have a know-how in Inkjet technology by leading the consumable market with professional chemistry. By the way, the special ink-jet-coated media must balance between many design parameters such as drop volume, evaporation rate, penetration rate, coating thickness, etc. Today, because of the popularity of color ink-jet printers, the markets demand for better media such as ink-jet glossy and photo media is more significant.

How do laser printers work?

Laser Printers employ a laser beam to create an image on a drum. The light of the laser changes the electrical charge in the drum wherever it gets hit. Then, the drum is rolled onto a reservoir of toner, which is picked up by the altered portions of the drum. Consequently, the toner is being transferred to the paper by an amalgamation of heat and pressure, in the same way a photocopier operates.

Since an entire page is carried over to a drum prior to the toner application, laser printers called page printers. There are also two additional types of page printers that come into the category of laser printers, even though they do not use lasers .One uses bundles of LED's to expose the drum, then the other employs LCD's. However, both of them function like a real laser printer once the drum is charged.

One of the distinguishing features of laser printers is their resolution. The ready resolutions extent from 300 dpi (dots per inch) at the bottom end to 1,200 dpi at the top end. If you compare, offset printing normally prints at 1,200 or 2,400 dpi. Some laser printers achieve higher resolutions with distinguish techniques generally known as resolution enhancement.

A standard monochrome laser printer employs a single toner, whereas colour laser printers use four toners to print in full colour. Colour laser printers are generally about five to ten times more expensive than their monochrome siblings.

Laser printers create high-quality prints and are capable of printing an almost unlimited variety of fonts. Most laser printers have a basic set of fonts, they are called internal or resident fonts, however additional fonts can be added in more ways.

Laser printers are very able when it comes to printing graphics. However, one needs good amount of memory in the printer to print high-resolution graphics. Since, laser printers are non-impact printers, they proved to be much quieter than dot-matrix. They are faster, although sometimes not as fast as some dot-matrix printers.